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Saturday, October 2, 2010

I'm Still Here

I am writing this October 2, 2010. For me it is a day that marked the dividing line between before and after. The day my husband died of a sudden heart attack. It has now been seven years today since the phone call that changed our lives forever. Seven years? Some day it feels like forever, other days it feels like yesterday. I have a hard time remembering things about Dave like I used to –the memories are like a photograph that has started to fade with time, with gently blurred edges and colors that all being to melt together. Sometimes I hate that, but mostly I think that is a good thing – the raw emotion of the first days, months and years would be hard to sustain for any length of time.

A few weeks ago, I shared about ‘dealing with days’. Today is one of those ‘ days’. But today I am choosing to deal with the day very simply.

I am just going to live.

You see, somewhere along the valley of the shadow of death, I came to a startling realization: